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标题: 第二道题目，也请sales专家还有英文大侠帮我改改 [打印本页]

作者: 新马甸甸 时间: 2011-1-19 15:57:09 标题: 第二道题目，也请sales专家还有英文大侠帮我改改

一道sales的题目，要求写3封英文信，我英文不好，也没写过这种专业的信。大家帮我改改好吗？谢谢！

题目： the three enquiries you are to answer have been prompted by an ad in the New Zealand Herald for your shoe shop's anniversary sale. 。。。(我不卖鞋，只是题目)

2，mrs xxx lives at Rawene and has equired about the range of riding boots. these have been described as assorted in the newspaper ads. mrs xxx would like to buy boots for her 3 children but would like to know if it is worth her while travelling the significicant distance to the shop, her email address is xxx

you are to inform mrs.xxx that your assortment includes a range of different brands and sizes. all children's sizes are covered but not all brands.

作者: 新马甸甸 时间: 2011-1-19 16:00:22

本帖最后由新马甸甸于 2011-1-20 11:02 编辑

To: Mrs. xxxx < [email protected] >
From: Madian [email protected]
Date: 12/12/2010
Subject: Riding boot range for children

Dear Mrs. xxx,

Thank your for your enquiry about our range of riding boots. As advertised in New Zealand Herald, we have a wide range of riding boots which from a range of different brands and all shoe sizes are available. Our range covers all children’s sizes but not all brands.

Attached with this letter is a list of our riding boots range for children including all sizes and their brands information.

We suggest that you bring your children to our store to choose shoes they like and have proper shoe size fitting for them. We believe you will find good riding shoes for your children with our special price offer!

If you require further information, please do not hesitate to contact us, our office number is: 1234567, opening hour is from 9am-5pm, Monday to Sunday.

Yours sincerely,

Madian
Sales department
***shoe ltd

作者: 闲人莫入 时间: 2011-1-19 17:59:35

几点问题，我说一下：
1。你人称后面跟动词你经常不注意，第三人称没有s的现象频频发生。
2。great special price offer显得太罗嗦，就说special offer。卖东西最怕自吹自擂，是否great，不是你说的算的。
3。你在说自己的时候，用了太多的"I"和"MY“，这样的商店都很不专业，给人感觉很不团结，店员都在为了自己的利益好像在瓜分客户似的。洋人跟中国人的理念是不一样的，洋人的生意或者销售，是不想夹杂私人因素的。你观察一下周围的大企业，用的都是"WE"和"OUR”。

作者: 新马甸甸 时间: 2011-1-20 11:03:27

几点问题，我说一下：
1。你人称后面跟动词你经常不注意，第三人称没有s的现象频频发生。
2。great special price offer显得太罗嗦，就说special offer。卖东西最怕自吹自擂，是否great，不是你说的算的。
3。你在 ...
闲人莫入发表于 2011-1-19 17:59

谢谢，改了我能发现的错误，再帮我看看还有错误吗？

作者: butterroll 时间: 2011-1-20 13:24:11

nice letter OBH

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