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标题: who would like to be my child(ren)'s mother? (with some details added) [打印本页]

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-8 00:00:26 标题: who would like to be my child(ren)'s mother? (with some details added)

I am sorry if the text below leads you to think that I am a man obsessed with material wealth. I am capable to love and integrate romance in my family. My students, friends and colleagues describe me as an outgoing, easy-going, forgiving, humourous and aspring man.

I am different from many men you might have seen. Many men spend much of their lives on women, but forget to spend time looking after them and giving them a good standard of living. Many men spend much of their lives on their career, but forget to spend time staying with their family. I do not fall into either of these two categories. I want to be successful in my career and in my family alike.

I read many sociology articles. I understand that women contribute more to a family than men do and women are more vulnerable to economic turbulance than men are. I also understand that a perfect family is a melting pot of money, love, romance, responsibilities, trust and communication. That's why I think that I am special and capable to start a family with a good lady, a lady who should discover my abilities to give her something that is missing in many other marriages.

I am a man who survives and struggles for his family, his parents before they pass away and his wife and child(ren) after they are brought into his life.

I am nearly 31. Sorry, I did not realise it or considered it seriously until my students asked me this question and I gave them the answer today.

I should have got married years ago as I am such a family-oriented man.

however, as i am always wanting to give my wife and my children the best i have, i did not consider the possibility seriously before.

different from many men living in nz, either younger or older than me, I have started basically from scratch. From a low-income and working parents family, I came here ladden with heavy debts, but fortunately, I paid them off despite holding a student visa in those years (which means that I could not earn more despite having such capabilities).

I am not a rich man yet, but I have sufficient money to start a business (if cnditions permit). I am a talented investor and financial controller, although I have little room to achieve my full potential. The opportunity is imminent, although it has always been remote. Somebody is born rich, while somebody rises from rags into prominence. I believe that I am the latter. I hold no doubt about it, nor do those who know me well.

My parents have always tried to rush me into a marriage and always asked me a question "when would you get married?". Never have them got my answer outright. Instead, I asked them back "if a marriage ought to persist toward the end of your life and last for decades, will it make a big difference entering it at the age of 35 or 40?"

Now when asking myself the same question, I have to say "yes, it surely will." Age holds the key to many forms of pleasure we can unlock in our lives, a healthy child, sex, a successful career, and so forth. anybody who tends to deny these facts is to deny the life formulars that have operated for thousands of years and possibly date back to the founding of the first human family on this planet.

I am an ordinary-looking guy, medium-height, knowledgeable, adventuresome but prudent. I dropped out of the school around four years ago because of financial hardships, but this deprivation does not compromise my academic competence and specialised knowledge. I have helped hundreds of students finish their bachelor or master degrees in NZ and other countries. Once I get PR(damn it), my effort to get multiple qualifications is basically unstoppable. Life to me is a journy that is full of challenges and surprises. I welcome both. A classic example is that I got my book published, although I am an obscure writer without any striking academic background. I am glad that I am a miracle creator rather than an opportunitist. I have started another book, hopefully another milestone on my path to success.

Enough about me but little about the girl that I think fits me. I don't expect to meet a girl as knowledgeable as me, but she is preferrably a keen learner. A girl without strong quest for knowledge is a homely girl that brings no fresh air in a marriage, which is doomed to become a graveyard. Nor do i expect to see a girl as intelligent as me, but at least, she is capable to communicate with me, read my mind and understand my vision. A marriage can by no means succeed if the couple does not share the same language. I am a literature lover and movie-goer. My humble breeding does not deprive me of appreciating art, a penchant that is found unique among humans only and distinguishes us from other species.

She should be a non-smoker and physically normal and healthy. I am a robust adherent of genetics. A smoker, an obesity sufferer or a girl that does not follow a healthy lifestyle is a self-destructing individual, bring nothing to the world but a baby with birth defects. I am interested in a healthy family. I am ready to expend all my energy and talent I have in exchange for it.

I put them all in English, because it is a good test of literacy and language proficiency. I want a well-educated child. marrying a well-educated mother is exactly the first step toward this objective.

Pour all your scorn right here if you take me as a geek but let me know via QQ 26160562 if you are interested in me and ready for a healthy family and a spotless marriage.

[ 本帖最后由隐君子于 2009-4-18 23:00 编辑 ]

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-8 00:02:14

all i wrote above stemmed from an urge that arose after I read an article about "ideal age for pregnancy"

作者: 2bad 时间: 2008-3-8 09:35:05

家北。。。我怎麽覺得你把女孩都涮了一遍啊

各位MM請一定相信樓主的真誠，RP一定有保證~

作者: meiming 时间: 2008-3-8 09:52:03

原帖由 2bad 于 2008-3-8 09:35 发表
家北。。。我怎麽覺得你把女孩都涮了一遍啊

各位MM請一定相信樓主的真誠，RP一定有保證~

感觉不像是单纯的捧

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-8 10:47:07

原帖由 2bad 于 2008-3-8 09:35 发表
家北。。。我怎麽覺得你把女孩都涮了一遍啊

各位MM請一定相信樓主的真誠，RP一定有保證~

RP?

How is your family?

作者: meiming 时间: 2008-3-8 13:40:07

原帖由 隐君子 于 2008-3-8 10:47 发表

RP?

How is your family?

就算人家不小心拼写有误，也不至于直接问候人全家吧？

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-8 13:57:28

原帖由 meiming 于 2008-3-8 13:40 发表

就算人家不小心拼写有误，也不至于直接问候人全家吧？

误会

我和她是同乡, 很久不见的朋友, 所以问候.

RP可能是对的, right person.

作者: 刘得桦 时间: 2008-3-8 16:40:16

弱弱的猜一下，RP是不是人品的意思啊，游戏里经常这么用哦。

作者: sunny128 时间: 2008-3-8 17:01:51

通常我只看不发表，但今天看了LZ的帖子感觉LZ有点自信膨胀－自赋！好象是在找生育机器！还什么"ideal age for pregnancy"－借口！目的性太强。拜托，这里是情感天空，不是生育天空。在说你还没找到情感就谈生育，未免有些操只过急了！希望LZ下次发贴能真诚一点！

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-8 17:41:39

I am comfortable if my wife wants me to be a person who has income-earning capabilities.

It does not mean that she marries me because i am a money spinner.

Yes, a woman is capable to bear a child, but I i am not the one to be blamed for women's inborn ability. The creator of human beings is. If i were able to do this job, i would love to do that for my wife.

Do you know why women normally want their husbands to be financially stable, while men usually want their wives to be committed to family? Their expectations are decided by the roles they ought to play in families.

Do you know why a majority of wives are younger than their husbands, although normally women have a longer lifespan than men do? it is becaue age brings wealth, career stability and maturity to a man. There is a huge blank in a woman's career because of pregnancy. The wealth created by the husband will help maintain the family's living standard during the wife's pregnancy and maternity leave.

I am not a guy who is gonna take his wife as a slave, maid, or babysitter. I am willing to play a big part in my child's life development. I will enjoy this, because i will be proud of being a good father.

I am a defender of women's rights. I recognise all a woman does for a family, because my mum is a perfect woman.

I will try my best to offer a compensation for all my wife will give up for the marriage.

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-8 17:46:05

don't trust a man if the man does not want a marriage or baby.

Chemistry can help kick off a relationship, but committment can help sustain the relationship.

THe ring is normally the emblem of committment, but you can take off the ring easily.

You can never abandon your child easily.

I am sorry I have to make the reasons behind having a baby so explicit!

作者: vincentakl 时间: 2008-3-8 17:49:03

LZ文章写的真好！
但读完觉得人每一项都很平均很好，没啥特点。。。
如果能用30秒就抓住眼球，那这样的男人会有魅力多了！
希望LZ好运！

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-8 18:04:51

Men are ordinary creatures, but women make them special.

I believe that all women agree on this .

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-8 18:07:59

if men are special, women make them ordinary creatures.

as Prince Charles said on his wedding day, "I am just down to earth."

作者: 神少 时间: 2008-3-8 19:06:18

老大为啥您不用中文啊!! 英文看着好头疼啊!!

作者: ChicagoBulls 时间: 2008-3-9 02:45:05

和其他英语为第二语言的人相比较，你的英文令人敬佩，可以算是雅思9分，不过呢，你写的东西我总觉得有点“酸”，挺矛盾，对另一半年龄，体貌的单纯注重，似乎也和你对自己的描述很矛盾。

所谓己所不欲勿施于人，你既不希望别人看重你的体貌，为什么又反过来要求对方？我觉得女孩子只要健康苗条，唇红齿白，面相善良就足够了，虽然外貌都是越漂亮越好，但绝不该成为成熟理智男人的择偶标准，还是性格，气度，脑力等更重要些。

得罪，得罪。

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-9 08:15:22

where did you get this message?

did you see any description of look throughout the whole text?

作者: SLAYER 时间: 2008-3-9 10:07:34

my sister should be very intersted being your children's mom

so how many children have you got yet?

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-9 10:25:22

I have no child, as I am unmarried.

作者: 本拉登娘舅 时间: 2008-3-9 11:50:19

哎～～雅思4.5进来联系阅读～～～

作者: ChicagoBulls 时间: 2008-3-9 12:42:40 标题: 回复 #17 隐君子的帖子

希望你能找到，已经比坛子里不少人强多了，只是觉得你的写法是很难找到你所想得到的人的。

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-9 14:15:13

原帖由 ChicagoBulls 于 2008-3-9 12:42 发表
希望你能找到，已经比坛子里不少人强多了，只是觉得你的写法是很难找到你所想得到的人的。

同意你的预测

作者: 2bad 时间: 2008-3-9 17:36:33

對啦隊啦RP就是人品~

好女孩還是有的！不要小看在這裡浮游的MM~~~~~~

作者: 2bad 时间: 2008-3-9 17:39:56

家裏人都不錯，托賴了^^ 就是最近小忙~~~~~

保重哦~

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-9 19:20:23

忙是好事, 注意身体.

作者: 2bad 时间: 2008-3-9 21:11:08

油兔啊！！！

作者: Orchid 时间: 2008-3-10 00:51:37

看了LZ写的。。。我猜LZ应该是个条件还不错的男人，只是年轻气盛。。。
自信是应该有的，但是强势逼人的话，就有点过了。。。怕你吓跑真正有能力，有涵养，有气质的好女孩子！

作者: 雁阵惊寒 时间: 2008-3-10 02:01:59

"A smoker, an obesity sufferer or a girl that does not follow a healthy lifestyle is a self-destructing individual, bring nothing to the world but a baby with birth defects."

That was the only point throughout the text I found less convincing. It is ironic discriminating whilst sounding like a humanitarian in all other statements. It is ok for not fancying obese girls or smokers but being judgmental isn’t going to do you any good.

Unhealthy diet or lifestyle can be a result of knowledge deficit, which was mostly caused by inability of information access. Then again genetic, cultural, socioeconomic, environmental and financial factors all have impact on an individual to a certain extent. There are times that people switch to less healthy diet when they are experiencing some financial hardship. You might want to agree with this because you even dropped out of university due to the same reason. However, that does not make you a worthless man, does it?

On top of that, other times people may experience crisis in their lives such as the sudden death of a family member or being in an abusive relationship. A lot of people start smoking and/or drinking as a coping strategy and as a result, their lifestyles will alter significantly.

All in all my point was that people were not born equal. No one asks for illness or disability or even being born into a financially struggling family. Therefore the healthy, as well as the unhealthy, everyone deserves acknowledgement and respect for being who they are.

PS: I don’ t normally jump in like this so thanks for tickling my brain by this article.

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-10 07:48:00

原帖由 Orchid 于 2008-3-10 00:51 发表
看了LZ写的。。。我猜LZ应该是个条件还不错的男人，只是年轻气盛。。。
自信是应该有的，但是强势逼人的话，就有点过了。。。怕你吓跑真正有能力，有涵养，有气质的好女孩子！

I am a humble man. That's why my boss describes me as a scholar rather than a teacher. A modern teacher should boast his background, rather than giving it a simplified account. I never pay lip service. Nor do I brag about my gift.

I am begging for love. I am in search for a girl who understands what contribute to a perfect marriage. Look, wealth and qualifications are visible belongings, but hardly can these make a concrete relationship. I don't have these belongings currently, so I am not fully confident, especially when I discern that these are what interest most, if not all, of the girls right here. I am confident if you want a responsible man who is always ready to commit his whole life to his family.

I am trying to be a good son now but also a good husband and a good father in future. Nothing can give me more pride than doing these jobs. I am born for that.

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-10 08:00:08

原帖由 雁阵惊寒 于 2008-3-10 02:01 发表
"A smoker, an obesity sufferer or a girl that does not follow a healthy lifestyle is a self-destructing individual, bring nothing to the world but a baby with birth defects."

That was the onl ...

Ok,
Smoking is a luxury habit in New Zealand. I am always surprised to see that well-educated people continue this habit while knowing that smoking does harm to their children and themselves. I am not ready to discharge nicotine in my body and transfer it to my children.

People suffer obesity becaue they are addicted to eating, rather than because they have no food. Keeping yourself away from hamburgers and potato chips can always help you afford fruits and vegetables.

I do not discriminate against any person with disabilities. In fact, I am always grateful to my parents and God for I do not have disabilities, so I can do more for my family and people around me. Writing a book is a labourous job. Do you think that a man with health problems can accomplish this job?

I look after myself for my family, because health is what keeps me capable to serve as their servant.

作者: 雁阵惊寒 时间: 2008-3-10 09:28:49

People suffer obesity becaue they are addicted to eating, rather than because they have no food.

disagree. Do you know why poor diet is mostly associated with lower socio-economic families? Do you know why sushi is more expensive than take aways? My previous point was that unhealthy foods tend to be cheaper. Have you noticed that in a supermarket fruits and vegetables are comparably more expensive than meat? What would be the choice of a family going through financial harships if healthy grain bread was $3 per loaf while normal bread with less carbohydrates were $5 per 3 loafs.

As I metioned genes play an important role in obesity. Why do you think there are a significantly higher persentage of maori and islanders population having diabetes, ischaemic heart disease and stroke every year than the rest of the population? Their life expectancy are on an average 10 years lower than those of Pakeha. Putting indigenous population aside, there are difference for example in infant mortality rate between Pakeha and Asian population. Why would that be? Thats due to genetic reasons. There is still so much more to explore, but I can tell you that obesity is not just about some dumb kid can't stop eating humburgers.

[ 本帖最后由雁阵惊寒于 2008-3-10 09:47 编辑 ]

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-10 09:43:31

哈哈, 你真是太可爱了. 我知道饮食习惯和人的文化背景和收入有联系.

但是这不代表着这些因素是导致他们肥胖的真正原因.

我们不需要讨论这个. 我也不相信在新西兰的中国女孩是因为买不起蔬菜而肥胖.

我只是希望自己的妻子爱惜自己的身体, 不暴饮暴食, 多吃健康食品而已.

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-10 09:46:03

是的,基因是一个原因, 我也看过这方面的调查. 我希望自己孩子的基因好一点, 健康一点, 仅此而已.谢谢

作者: 雁阵惊寒 时间: 2008-3-10 09:54:43

I just found the topic fascinating thats all. Thanks again for the discussion and I wish you a good life.

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-10 10:05:25

You are welcome. I am interested in many subjects, including physiology, psychology, sociology, anthropology, law and business. I know your specialisation is nursing, which is fascinating too.

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-15 00:09:36

I am scattered by my jobs and reunited by my will

作者: 星海流连 时间: 2008-3-15 01:00:33

有才能的人能够控制性的自负是好事.......是激励自己....
毛泽东说了: 三十年读书, 三十年奋斗.......
我走的就是这条路..... 不知道你走的是哪条路呢?
先累积财富吧~~~~~

作者: fred-ay 时间: 2008-3-15 02:21:34

绝对强贴 p服祝早点找到哈哈

作者: 认真的雪 时间: 2008-3-15 15:36:52

哈哈,锻炼了一下雁阵的辩论能力啊~

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-15 20:30:44

人生知己难求, 若生瑜, 必要生亮. 否则瑜必孤独而死

作者: 麦秆 时间: 2008-3-15 21:10:22

楼主和雁mm提供些材料让我提高英语吧
我说真的

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-15 22:17:15

念珠俯拾即是, 但是你要念才灵啊

作者: 我是小枪 时间: 2008-3-16 03:16:24 标题: .....

楼主的征文是篇完美的机器说明书。

个人感受，这篇文字让人看得不少皱眉头。
人总归以个“情”为主的吧

作者: drinkwater 时间: 2008-3-23 13:42:51

lz自己怎么不顶帖子?

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-23 16:26:26

我踏实赚钱，矢志做归侨。

作者: 星海流连 时间: 2008-3-23 20:58:33

原帖由 隐君子 于 2008-3-23 16:26 发表
我踏实赚钱，矢志做归侨。

终于长大了~~~~~~~~

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-23 22:29:45

可惜你还没有, 你也不会有,估计

作者: hiuying 时间: 2008-3-26 23:38:20

sounds like you are looking for a woman who can give birth and not a woman who you can share your life with..Happiness by far is the most important.why bother about so many things.If only I can find a man who I can trust and truely love I wouldn't care if he's poor, bad lookiing with low self esteem, overweight..Love is love..Love is like oxgen..
also I wanted to point out that well educated parent does not equal to intelligent kid..
Anyway, I do hope that you can get what you want here..Good luck

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-27 00:10:25

if he is poor, bad looking and has no redeeming features how come will you love him?

作者: Cinderella2008 时间: 2008-3-28 01:13:33

原帖由 隐君子 于 2008-3-27 00:10 发表
if he is poor, bad looking and has no redeeming features how come will you love him?

并不是每个女孩子都是像你想象的那样物质。

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2008-3-28 09:33:22

most, if not all of them?

I am glad to see the day when girls are fully independent, rather than preoccupied with a windfall gain in a marriage.

作者: 1q2a 时间: 2009-4-11 00:12:38

呵呵，楼主还是不要小看女人啦。I'm sure you might be able to find one that's at least as intelligent as you, if not more. and trust me, some women are very independent these days。

看了您一些帖子，觉得好像一阵清风！我想好多人肯定也是这么想的。I have absolute faith that you'll be very successful one day. 很崇拜，很欣慰，看到一个这样determined的人，一直都坚持做自己！我也希望以后自己是这样的一个人：forever free, instead of getting institutionalised and getting bogged down with life's many demands (see Shawshank for reference)

很有兴趣认识您。您要是有缘看到我的回复就请给我留言吧。跟您做个朋友也是好的。

one question though: I don't mean to be rude, but you seem to have no problem meeting someone who's much much younger than youself, e.g. a 20 YO. but don't you think you might be a little too old for her? don't you think there might be an age gap between you guys? how do you expect to communicate?

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2009-4-11 00:43:30

no way, daniel.

I appreciate maturity. communition holds the key to a successful marriage. i don't think i am able to communicate with a young girl, or vice versa.

how do we define a soul mate?

a soul mate is the one who can read your mind before you speak it.

my qq is 2616 0562. hardly see anybody like shawshank.. i have some recommendations. dead poets society, 12 angry men.

作者: 1q2a 时间: 2009-4-11 01:03:49 标题: 回复 53# 隐君子的帖子

communication and commitment!

a soul mate is that matching piece of jigsaw puzzle. once matched, one's also able to shape the other.

oh, a LOT of people appreciate shawshank. one of the greatest movies ever made. i'll definitely check out the ones you recommended. feel a bit shabby since i have nothing to offer in return. (watched rashomon recently, but no doubt you've seen it already)

don't have a qq account, but i left you a message :)

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2009-4-11 01:29:49

um.. the jigsaw puzzle is really impressive.. i don't have one in my mind to match it.

a soul mate is ... probably, the one who holds the answer to every question you have in life while having questions that can only be answered by you...

too wordy.. but always interesting to try a different definition. it is like describing the beauty of a diamond by seeing every face of it.

作者: yokochan 时间: 2009-4-11 15:01:56

一直不是很理解，中国人和中国人之间对话，居然要说英文。。。

LZ貌似发了很多帖了，都不知道要顶哪个了。

LZ很自恋，自负甚至骨子里有点自卑。

说的不对或者不中听请见谅。

作者: phyllis 时间: 2009-4-15 15:35:43

I love Shawshank too!!!

I thought most people do too, how can you say hardly anybody like it?  I have a friend who might suit you, but unfortunately she does not believe in meeting someone from the internet.

My only comment here is, there seems to be no element of love in the whole article?  The audience you are trying to attract is women who are (mostly, if not all) obsessed with the L word.  And no, I do not agree marriage should be an exchange of conditions and obligations.

Oh ok, maybe I am just another hopeless romantic, didn't get me any closer to finding someone anyway!  I do wish you luck in finding the right person.  Afterall, the earth cannot become saturated with happiness, I say the more the merrier.

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2009-4-15 17:03:36

Hello, Phyllis,
I love shawshank redemption.. which gave me a lot of courage in those days. in fact, many of us are imprisoned by some thoughts.

most people around me love action movies, thrillers or movies that bring temporary and superficial pleasure and excitement but hardly arouse your deep emotions and provoke your thoughts.

apart from shawshank redemption, 12 angry men, the legend of the fall, dead poets society, the silence of the lamb, American beauty, Se7en are among my favourite. these movies remind me that humans are rational individuals who can always exercise discretion and conduct rational thinking.

nothing gives more pleasure than thinking.  thinking reminds my physical presence in this otherwise mundane, lifeless world. Some philosophers doubt whether human beings are qualified as human beings when they are asleep, because they cannot think when asleep.

nor do i agree that marriage can be reduced to a collection of arrangements and obligations. love is too precious to be traded.    the marriage without love as the basis is a tragedy, a prison similar to the one in shawshank redemption.

"I killed her, though i did not pull the trigger."  said Frank. Frank is an altruistic man who knows how to forsake a marriage in which love does not exist.

Nor do i think that i am lucky enough to find the right person that can match my thinking. I am not pessimistic but realistic.

however, hope is the only thing that keeps us alive even in the worse days of our life.  I hardly reject hope.

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2009-4-15 17:04:43

though i don't trust luck.

作者: 比目 时间: 2009-4-15 19:14:07

Good on you and good luck!!

作者: 小心艾滋病！ 时间: 2009-4-16 15:38:29

作者: ~蓝山咖啡~ 时间: 2009-4-16 18:24:16

提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽

作者: yokochan 时间: 2009-4-17 12:34:32

原帖由 ~蓝山咖啡~ 于 2009-4-16 17:24 发表
wwwwwhat's happening???English Version skykiwi????

反正我觉得挺不可理解的，跑这里大秀英文干嘛呢？！真要是一直说英语，干吗不去找个洋妞呢？
奇了怪了。

作者: bloodrey 时间: 2009-4-17 12:42:47

人家要么是香蕉，要么电脑不能打中文

原帖由 yokochan 于 2009-4-17 11:34 发表

反正我觉得挺不可理解的，跑这里大秀英文干嘛呢？！真要是一直说英语，干吗不去找个洋妞呢？
奇了怪了。

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2009-4-17 13:18:07

language can be manipulated.
I have been using Chinese throughout my whole life. such practice wins me some proficiency in this language.
language is the razor of those proficient users to cut the throat of the less proficient.
I do not want to take advantage of this gift.

I am clumsy enough in speaking english.  the search for the right word to convey my thoughts can sometimes be strenuous.

but the motive behind that is the possibility of revealing my genuine thinking.

a proficient language user is meanwhile a proficient lie user.

I lie from time to time even though I don't distinguish a lie from a fact from myself.

using a language i am not familiar with is the only approach to sincerity, the only way to mine my true feelings.

this is a delicate balance between the temptation to lie and the appeal of being a sincere person.

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2009-4-17 13:25:45

I suppose that few people have the brave to explore self and unveil their feelings.

it does not concern me if only few can understand the reasoning behind this, as I believe that only the one who realises how my thoughts are structured and justified will be interested in being my life companion.

作者: 小希 时间: 2009-4-17 15:01:17

the evolution theory really kicks in doesnt it?

u're honest n brave in revealing what exactly u or any men who enters marriage might be looking for, but let me remind you, while trustworthyness and status and wealth might be factors women use to choose their potential partners, it is not the only ones. ur 'artical' lacks something we women like to call 'warmth' and 'romance' . which i believe, are actually crtical attraction factors to the majority of unwedded ladies age around 20 - 30.

reading this is like reading a scholar journal, philosophical; logical, but rigid and distant. It's not hard to see that u r talented,very, but u c, there are no bachlor or masters degree in 'love'.

Anyway, goodluck, u'r gonna need it.

作者: ruirui85924 时间: 2009-4-17 15:10:50

???…………翻译都整出来了，干啥呢，这都在？

作者: 淡蓝琥珀 时间: 2009-4-18 22:21:01

你既然帮助过那么多人完成学业，难道在与这么多人相处的过程中就没有遇见一个合适的人吗。。。。。如果向你说的这样，你的条件应该很不错的，但是为什么没有发展起来了呢？？？？

[ 本帖最后由淡蓝琥珀于 2009-4-18 21:23 编辑 ]

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2009-4-18 22:34:14

今天晚上, 终于看了<天使爱美丽>, 一直没舍得看, 在电脑里两年了. 电脑差不多也残废了.

作者: 有了快感你就喊 时间: 2009-4-18 22:38:17

原帖由 淡蓝琥珀 于 2009-4-18 21:21 发表
你既然帮助过那么多人完成学业，难道在与这么多人相处的过程中就没有遇见一个合适的人吗。。。。。如果向你说的这样，你的条件应该很不错的，但是为什么没有发展起来了呢？？？？

because on one can understand whats he trying to say! TOO HARD! TOO BLOODY HARD!

作者: 淡蓝琥珀 时间: 2009-4-18 22:52:34

原帖由 有了快感你就喊 于 2009-4-18 21:38 发表

because on one can understand whats he trying to say! TOO HARD! TOO BLOODY HARD!

那真是有意思了，受过高等教育的人都理解他不了。那一般人更是困难呢~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2009-4-18 23:23:39

原帖由小希于 2009-4-17 14:01 发表
the evolution theory really kicks in doesnt it?

u're honest n brave in revealing what exactly u or any men who enters marriage might be looking for, but let me remind you, while trustworthyness and ...

I remember a story, a true story about my dad. narrated by my mum.

my mum disposed of some rice, she believed not in good quality, in the rubbish bin with a plastic bag.

one hour after the dinner, my mum heard something from the kitchen.

under the dim light, my father was cleaning the rice, yes, you are right, the rice in the plastic bag.

my family was rather poor at that time. that's why my father saved good rice for the family. frugality is a virtue.

however, however, my mum did not want my father to have such rice. they argued in the kitchen. they argued in most of the time since I realised that this is a kind of argument.

when this happened, i was working in a different city and saving every penny for the family's account.

love is about giving, rather than taking.

i received a lot of education, but not at a formal institution. so education for me, has a definition different from many other people's.

I am definitely a kid in love, rather than a master. or probably i know less about love than many people do.

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2009-4-18 23:45:04

用中文说一个

有一个年轻人,　在２２岁的时候和一个喜欢他的女孩散步，　情人节的夜晚．　
恩,他们在情人节的街道上,　走了三个小时,　身边的男女拿着花,他们逛商店，　喝咖啡，　听音乐会.
差不多午夜了,　有一个卖花的女孩突然走过来,　＂先生,　买朵花给你的女朋友吧，我最后一枝了,　只卖５毛＂
这个年轻人沉默了几秒钟,　说：＂她不是我的女朋友．＂

过了三年,那个年轻人要出国了,　同学聚会，　他想和女孩说：＂那个晚上，我只是没有５毛钱.＂　但是还没开口,　女孩就说：＂好好读书,　我等你回来．＂　这个年轻人不说话,　在聚会的末尾，　他和女孩说：＂不要等我了．＂

很多人喜欢承诺，因为爱．
也有人因为爱,　不喜欢承诺．

因此，爱从来不那么容易获得．　

有的爱很明白，　一句＂我爱你＂就明白了.
有的爱也很明白，　虽然从来没有说过＂我爱你＂．

我花了很多时间去读书,　去赚钱，　所以，　估计没有人会觉得，这个人会懂得爱是什么.

英文不是鸡毛,　中文也不是.　语言从来不难懂,　只要你明白．

　

作者: 有了快感你就喊 时间: 2009-4-19 00:06:37

原帖由 淡蓝琥珀 于 2009-4-18 21:52 发表

那真是有意思了，受过高等教育的人都理解他不了。那一般人更是困难呢~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

一般人有点困难还ok，我这种掉底的就绝b看不懂了。。高手绝对有，今年特别多，楼主加油！

作者: pinkpignz 时间: 2009-4-21 23:46:16

原帖由 雁阵惊寒 于 2008-3-10 01:01 发表
"A smoker, an obesity sufferer or a girl that does not follow a healthy lifestyle is a self-destructing individual, bring nothing to the world but a baby with birth defects."

That was the only poi ...

强人果然出现...

作者: pinkpignz 时间: 2009-4-22 00:07:14

原帖由小希于 2009-4-17 14:01 发表
the evolution theory really kicks in doesnt it?

u're honest n brave in revealing what exactly u or any men who enters marriage might be looking for, but let me remind you, while trustworthyness and ...

LZ真挺厉害的, 也许跟您说的一样, 确定一定以及肯定地表达了你的真诚.
不过您的目的是征友, 不是来show真诚的, 虽然真诚确是途径.
像人家说的.. 您这帖子既没有warmth, 又不romantic
确实不太吸引女人...
从目的的角度... 完全不达目的...

您表达的"真诚",, 俺们都看到了...
但你孩儿的妈... 估计这儿难找...

作者: 1q2a 时间: 2009-4-22 00:13:47 标题: 回复 73# 隐君子的帖子

看了真感动。再次祝福你吧。

可以礼拜天去教会，认识更多的人。

作者: 1q2a 时间: 2009-4-22 00:17:32 标题: 回复 77# pinkpignz 的帖子

咳，这儿的帖子我看得多了。过了25岁的男的，哪个写的贴还warm和romantic啊，一个个不都是简单介绍自己，然后写了些要求就完事的吗。我看过写的浪漫的帖子：都是小青年写的。（但他们一般都不知道自己在说什么。）

作者: pinkpignz 时间: 2009-4-22 00:36:54 标题: 回复 79# 1q2a 的帖子

不是非得要warm和romantic, 那也就用来比方說一下
就是... 要有吸引人的point
轻狂也好无赖也好BT也好, 让不同女的会想要尝试联系一下
而不是让人看了就想飄开

反正言论自由表达无碍, 我只是想提醒楼主他的初衷不至于只是在缘分天空表达自己是一个怎么样的青年吧...

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2009-4-23 09:48:27

谢谢楼上的开导,
不过我还真没打算QQ上和一群人聊, 然后一个个删,

人总有不同的, 价值观不应该是在人群里不断复制.  这个版里每天都有很多贴, 但是有几个是真正找一个走完一辈子的人, 不得而知.
有的人一看就知道只是好玩, 和那种人谈一年半载也只能谈一个朦胧的浪漫.
我写的贴可能很难懂, 但是我也说了, 总有一天,有一个女人不经意地打开我的贴, 看了,明白了, 那么一段我想要的感情就开始了.
如果这个女人永远不会存在, 我也不在乎, 那是我想要的感情还没来到.

因此, 你不需要太过愤慨, 我写英文在这里不是显. AKL英文比我好的人多着, 当然, 我也比很多人好. 毕竟这是个说英文的国家, 如果英文都说不直, 你怎么能够说服一个女人, 你是一个有能力照顾家人的男人? 不是很多男人可以丰功伟业, 成名立万, 但是每一个男人都应该做到养家糊口不是?  一个在新西兰呆了好几年的人, 连基本的语言工具都没掌握, 别告诉我你的小宇宙有很大.

如果偏要比中文, 我也不担心. 然而, 中文写那么多年, 已经成了老滑头. 文字越漂亮, 我觉得忽悠的成分越大.
以前写文章是为了吸引女人, 现在写文章是为了吸引老婆. 至少写这些是的.

我只想写出一个真实的自己,  把身边发生的事情和大家讲讲. 在这里发贴, 我知道找到恰当的女孩很难, 从加我的人就知道了. 不成熟的是好奇,  成熟的又世故.

以后的每一年, 我都会回来这里看看自己发过的贴, 可能那时候我还是一个人, 但是起码比现在的自己风光, 那么总可以和那些居高临下的女人说, 这个男人起跑线比很多人都低, 但是跑得比很多人都快.
也有可能我和一个女人一起回来看, 看完哈哈大笑.
她肯定会说:想不到你当年这么踌躇.

作者: 几度枫红 时间: 2009-4-23 12:41:51

responsible but too conceited

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2009-4-23 13:02:51

yes, when i work hard for other people's interests, women will issue such a comment: yes, you are too responsible for your parents, and you should be a little selfish for your own family.

it is always easier to pick faults than to appreciate virtues, because we are hardly satisfied and grateful.

when you try to make more money, the complaint will be that you did not spend enough time on family life or save some time for the woman you love.

when you try to spend more time with the woman you love, the woman starts to complain about the money you bring home.

unless you start to appreciate a man, you would not gain any pleasure from your life with him.

I am not a perfect man and can never be.

作者: duazalea 时间: 2009-4-23 14:31:05

感觉LZ跟我以前的几个男朋友很象，我也不知道为什么总能吸引学历高，有知识的男人，我自己属于不爱读书，经常逃课的淘气包，我也不知道为什么总能吸引学历高的男人，其中有一个是美国哈佛的博士后，在美国一个大学已经是终身教授了（都是华人呀），其他几个有悉泥大学的博士，还有国内上海交大的博士，英文都比我好上几百倍，人家都用英文给老外讲课，我就狂晕，我身上什么气质会吸引这些学历高的男人呢？？？接２连３的都是一个类型的男人。。。。。
后来总结出来了，这些有学识的男人总喜欢把心爱的女人改变成他们心中女孩的样子，真受不了啊，爱就是接受一个人的全部，而不是去改变这个人，后来认识了现在的LG，觉得还不错，条件学历都跟我相仿。
我还是建议LZ找一个跟你一样学历高的女孩，这样的男人我见了好多啦，而且大多有学识的男人都很有傲气的

[ 本帖最后由 duazalea 于 2009-4-23 13:33 编辑 ]

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2009-4-23 15:02:31

爱只会产生在两个相互之间有吸引力的人之间
如果恰当, 何需改变?

喜欢一个人,就是她有一些别人所没有的, 而你又欣赏的特性.
因为这些特性, 她的其他缺点就不重要了.

我没有傲气,

见了他,她变得很低很低,低到尘埃里,但心里是欢喜的,从尘埃里开出花来

希望大家明白, 爱情面前, 只有傻子, 没有聪明人.

作者: pinkpignz 时间: 2009-4-23 16:47:08

那个... 没有愤慨... 又不是阶级敌人愤慨啥啊~

很多人有不同意见嘛, 所以也就这么一说, 无非是盼望LZ早日找到那个能尘埃里开出花来的人.
漂亮的文字可以忽悠也可以不忽悠, 既然是老滑头级别的, 就看你想不想忽悠了. 呵呵...
这估计是心态问题, 像咱们这种流来窜去捣乱看热闹的无聊人士, 看到长篇英文当然头大了, 平时看得还不夠啊... 多累的慌... 所以才随便一说

但是有心人当然会, 也能, 慢慢体会你此时的"踌躇"了...
祝能和你回头哈哈大笑的女人早日出现~

作者: so-_-shop 时间: 2009-4-23 22:34:04 标题: 回复 85# 隐君子的帖子

哇一口气看完还真是有点累
很久没再SKY上没有看到这么执着且认真争执的帖子了

观后感可以理解LZ的想法
因为自己付出了努力忍受别人不愿付出的辛劳或许也忍受别人没有的苦闷
终于成了自己想要变成的样子
也希望自己的完美可以继续永恒
很想我自己曾经走过的一个时期

很羡慕你没有被现实磨掉棱角
可以一直追求着自己
有梦最美就算是假的也不要醒
或许真的可以遇到你的 miss ferfect
加油

作者: duazalea 时间: 2009-4-24 09:33:50

LZ是有些自恋，跟我以前那些优秀的男朋友一样，最看不惯的就是什么时候都跟我说英文，写英文，不就是英语好吗？跟中国人之间有必要说英文吗？
爱一个人不是爱他的学历，爱他的张象，爱他的财富，而是爱、这个人的本质，不要爱他身的光环，人生没有完美的，有时候有一点点遗憾还是比较不错的，很多时候都是因为太完美而变的不完美

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2009-4-24 09:54:09

原帖由 duazalea 于 2009-4-24 08:33 发表
LZ是有些自恋，跟我以前那些优秀的男朋友一样，最看不惯的就是什么时候都跟我说英文，写英文，不就是英语好吗？跟中国人之间有必要说英文吗？
爱一个人不是爱他的学历，爱他的张象，爱他的财富，而是爱、这个人的本 ...

嘿嘿, 我如果自恋的话, 那岂不是经常失恋,

作者: ~筱筑~ 时间: 2009-4-24 11:37:51

感觉楼主说得太多了，在文字游戏里把我们糊弄的晕头转向的。可是最后还是不好理解LZ到底要抒发个什么思想感情。晕~~
要能完全理解LZ的女人还真的是万中挑一了

作者: 2233aaa 时间: 2009-4-24 12:21:22

楼主别急,请看下面文章

瑞典研究发现：丈夫比妻子大15岁婚姻最美满

美国著名影星迈克尔·道格拉斯和英国影星凯瑟琳·泽塔—琼斯相差24岁的“忘年恋”告诉人们，爱情面前，年龄不是问题。英国《新科学家》杂志的报道也证实了这一点。报道称，瑞典一项最新研究发现，丈夫比妻子年长15岁，婚姻最美满。

　　马丁·菲德是维也纳大学社会学教授，也是本次研究的主要领导者。他和同事们就2006年的瑞典人口统计数据进行了分析，发现超过90%的家庭都是丈夫较妻子年长。其中，相差两三岁的最多，六七岁的次之。

　　研究发现，若丈夫比妻子大4—6岁，能生育最多的子女，且下一代较他人更聪明、身体更健康。如果妻子年长于丈夫，无论相差多少，生育子女的数量都较少。而丈夫若比妻子年长15岁，则婚姻生活最美满。

　　马丁·菲德指出，老夫少妻的组合最符合人类遗传特征。“通俗地说，年长的男性更会关心人，而且有一定经济基础，和他们结婚可以过上比较安稳的生活，也避免了很多家庭纷争。此外，2001年，我们曾对仍保有古老传统的游牧民族进行了调查，发现年长男性的竞争性更强，女性有时就喜欢这样的人。”▲ (邱石)

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2009-4-24 14:01:21

Thoreau said, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation." Don't be resigned to that.

from Dead Poets Society

I am anxiously looking for a soul mate, but not desperately.

I am alone but not lonely.

作者: 1q2a 时间: 2009-4-24 19:25:20 标题: 回复 92# 隐君子的帖子

那个dead poets society，看了10分钟就看不下去了。全是男的。

我建议你去读Freire的文章。you'll find it really enlightening。看完了可以跟我切磋。哈哈。

楼主要找的那个女的，是有的。只不过我觉得skykiwi不是找那个人的地方了。

还有说那些什么傲气啊，之类之类的。懂太多的人，跟懂得不是一样多的人，总觉得说不上话来。也许这就是给人感觉他/她“傲气”的原因。

作者: 佦尐綠 时间: 2009-4-24 19:38:27

"read my mind and understand my vision"
isn't this a bit too much to ask for?
we are still in the time where, woman expect man to understand their thoughts..as we know.it's not possible...

despite this,
best wishes for u and ur future

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2009-4-24 19:41:46 标题: 回复 93# 1q2a 的帖子

我还是给你留言吧, 不想顶这个贴了, 让它沉下去,哪一天云开月明, 我再捞出来.

作者: 马二帅 时间: 2009-4-24 20:18:55

我在想LZ 不会找了老婆,平时生活也说英语吧,,,,,,,.........

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2009-4-25 14:22:54

小说＜长恨怀昔＞片段

得知母亲入院的消息，顾家北和苏向兰刚看完市中心的一个单元。电话里，父亲前言不搭后语，话里话急。顾家北紧着心问：“医生怎么说？”父亲却避而不谈，只是道：“你明天买了机票就回来，你妈想见你，都几年没在家过春节了？”不容分说地挂了电话。

  两人沿着皇后街走下来。苏向兰左手勾着顾家北的手肘，却是有气无力的。她一路不说话。买了房子，诸事妥当，如此一来，到了年中差不多可以登记结婚。经纪是个河南人，顶着个象是刚刚桑拿过，白乎乎的脸，诚挚地说：“这房子不大，适合你们这种年轻夫妇。先住着，过两个月跳了，赚了钱，不高兴再换大的，总比租别人房子，替别人扛房贷强。”苏向兰脸上不动声色地应付着，心里却几乎笑出声来。她早想好了怎么布置这两房一厅，这就是个装满家当的地方，家北在哪里看书，自己在哪里看电视。岂料经纪刚走，家北就接了电话，这房子一下子又是空中楼阁。

  去过新西兰的人都知道，那是个老实的国家，皇后街算是这个国家唯一有点动静的地方。时间到了晚上，过得特别快。八点时分，大部分的店铺已经关门，只留下几家亮着灯，基本是国内的午夜景象。这布道的在街口大声说话，扬着圣经，执着地向空气演讲，他的想象中站满了自己的听众。卖艺的坐在咖啡店前，翻着一页页的乐谱，唱唱停停，停停唱唱，他的声音，和车辆的低鸣，扭作一团，在街道两边的大楼之间跌跌撞撞，到了空中，却升不高，仿佛碰到了透明的玻璃天花板，又掉回到地上，慢得象被晒融的蜂蜜，行人听了去，又越过行人，往身后流走。这么一个玻璃之城，这么一个童话国度，在成年人的世界里，当然是虚幻的。

  第二天，顾家北去订机票，买土特产；苏向兰本来懒得睬他，却忍不住跟着去，挑礼物。这大方都是假的，却不得不装出来。晚上，行李散了一地，苏向兰坐在床边收拾，闷了一肚子的委屈。顾家北躺在床上，越过书瞟了她一眼，脚偷偷伸过去，脚趾碰到了她。她不理会，只是继续收拾。家北堆笑道：“一天都不出声，谁得罪你了。”苏向兰背着脸，忍不住说：“没人得罪我，我不得罪人就好。”家北道：“什么话？”向兰没好气说：“恩，你只需要听不懂，反正你听懂，也假装不知道。”家北嘿嘿乐了，道：“好厉害的老婆，我都不敢说话了，以前的简单，恩，还有温柔，看来全是假的。”向兰使劲地折起手中的衣服，大力往下一拍，道：“好，现在我是厉害了，反正没登记，房子没买，你后悔还来得及。”家北冷下声来，道：“什么话，都是？”向兰回过身来：“好，我们住一起，你是什么时候告诉你妈妈的？”家北道：“恩，大前天说的。”向兰哼道：“那不就是了，你妈妈的态度很明白，分明不赞成我们的事情。”家北道：“多想了。”想不出什么安慰的话，他只把书竖起来，挡着脸。向兰自顾自往下说：“我也不知道怎么不讨你妈妈的开心，我就这么不值得娶？”家北在书后道：“别多想，就怕你觉得不值得嫁。”向兰咬牙忍住笑，回头继续说：“你尽管贫，我知道，我长得不好看，我却是清清白白的和你在一起，你知道我顶着父母多大的压力，你以为所有的女孩都是那么容易未婚同居？”家北叹气道：“今天这是怎么了，不就是回趟国？我们的事情，我妈妈怎么干预得了，跨洋跨海的。”他凑过去，手指伸到她的下颌。她挣了挣，说：“讨厌。”手却停下来，任凭他摆布。家北再接再厉，在她耳边说：“我回国，你倒是自由了。”她闭着眼，琢磨他这句话，明白后说：“你怎么那么讨厌？”在他的掌心里，她又猛然睁开眼睛，苦笑道：“自由的是你，你妈妈少不了给你找女孩，顾家北，我等你的好消息。”他不说话，只把衣服推到地上去了。这一晚，谁也没睡踏实，她翻来覆去。到了后半夜，她悄悄地转了身，伸过手来，抱着他的腰，家北感觉到这个女孩的脸，变得异常地突出，仿佛要在自己的后背留下五官的轮廓，他握着她的手，扣在自己的肚子上，象背好了降落伞，准备空投到中国去，那个人和事的集散地。

作者: sha 时间: 2009-4-25 21:23:15 标题: 回复 97# 隐君子的帖子

看了你的帖，只有一种感觉：炫耀

作者: 赵宇 时间: 2009-4-26 18:14:11

有时候,语言的交流让人疲乏.

有时候,太多的评论又让人忙于应负.

那么我们常常所挂在嘴边的结果呢?还是一开始只是在享受发贴的过程,而非执着于发贴带来的目的?

The means used to achieve an end would often bring about a different outcome to which we never seem to be a part of it.

作者: 隐君子 时间: 2009-4-26 18:23:15

你这句话说得不错, 但是语法却是错的.

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