Marrying into a Chinese family

love_3_month

first of all, welcome to a Chinese forum :)

it is hard to say. some part of china is just like western country, some part of china is like 100 year ago.

so are the ppl. they are all different. some would love to have a non-chinese in-law, some would die @@

so the question is what kind of person your bf is, his education background, his family, his plan for future......and see you can live with that.

in general it is very likely (90%?) that the couple will live with the parents in the future as the parents do not speak much English. Actually most chinese young people like that, as parents help and support them a lot (like housework, baby sitting).  most kiwi don't live with parents when grow up, so this is quite a big difference. You could be in the 10%, you need to find it by yourself.

love_3_month

in general it is very likely (90%?) that the couple will live with the parents in the future as the parents do not speak much English (if the parents move to NZ in the futre)

花天堂

Honey. Chances are your husband-to-be has read your post already.

I will leave the rest to the netizen to comment.

Steph

Don't worry too much,and just give it a go!I believe that even if you marry to someone of your own country,there are still problems,and that's what life is!

大师致富

aklsunshine 发表于 2012-5-4 11:26
看来一洋妞/其他外国妞找一国男，大家都是以鼓励姿态啊！！

为啥国女找洋人或其他外国男，打击声就一片呢 ...

为啥要喊男女平等？为啥要女士优先而没有男士优先？为啥说女人能顶半边天，没人说男人能顶半边天？为啥要讲女权不讲男权？

Malsicine

Just really hard as been together for a number of years. Live together and every night after work, I always have a warm meal waiting or him or we go out and eat. The house is always clean. He never complain and rarely argue except when he is teaching me Chinese.

He think it will be okay for me to adapt living in China but again it is his birth country so easy for him to say. I have to say goodbye to my family and friends and trek across to unknown.

Thank you all. Have taken all the valid opinions on board. I guess the only thing is pack and move and see. Maybe I will grow to love the country and settle in comfortably and maybe not.

manchild

unbelievable.

NewLynnHse

Just do it! Don't live with the "what ifs". All the best!!

love_3_month

ops, "He have to go back to China and wishes that I join him.", just realize he wants to move back permanently?

that could be hard for you. however, most of migrants in this country have done this: move to another country with no friend, at least you have someone loving you there :) so should be ok.

At least you could have a try. maybe take a trip first to see how the life looks like and decide your next step.

爱国爱港

Malsicine 发表于 2012-5-4 12:25
Yes but how much humble and patience? That is the part I am afraid of. It can still be pretty hard t ...

I gotta tell you the worst scenario. You know in every country and culture, there are parents-in-law from hell. No matter how hard you try to impress them, they don't give a damn.

There is a popular Chinese saying: "Find bones inside eggs" which mean there are negative people who always look into dark side and pick on somebody's wrong.

Anyway, I wanna give bless to you and hope your future parents-in-law are mentally healthy with open minds.

East Asians' families do emphasis more on harmony. Being agressive and loud is bad in east Asians families. I guess after you spend some time in your fiancés family, you would able to master yourself to be diplomatic and smooth your sharp and rough edges.

If you see problems and you want to challenge someone within the family, rather than bringing every issue up front, have a good and sensible discussion with you partner first.

Rather than in the Western world always consider self interest, east Asians' families usually more emphasis on cooperative interest of the family and your next generation (I mean your kids).

爱国爱港

大师致富 发表于 2012-5-4 13:11
为啥要喊男女平等？为啥要女士优先而没有男士优先？为啥说女人能顶半边天，没人说男人能顶半边天？为啥要 ...

没有办法，西方女权运动比较男权运动早。而且女权运动得到的支持，永远比较男权运动高

大师致富

爱国爱港 发表于 2012-5-4 14:16
没有办法，西方女权运动比较男权运动早。而且女权运动得到的支持，永远比较男权运动高

说白了都是我们的孔圣人给害的。

cycycy

骗子   我懂英文  都觉得外国论坛难找了。。。。 不懂中文 你还能在这发帖？！

LJCalvin

the earth is so dangerous, LZ is better go back to Mars la~

c.luo

Dear, you need to tell us where your bf's hometown is then we can tell you more

38.1℃

这英文，能是洋妞写的吗？

Melody-T

我看不懂英文....

4agefans

好奇楼主是那国人民兄弟姐们，不过那里都OK，欢迎到咱们家庭来

feio

应该是个骗帖的，嗯！

heero_ho

Malsicine 发表于 2012-5-4 12:36
@ Skypiere  not sure what that mean. Sound like a poem though

@ Heero_ho and Venox yes the google ...

I c, google toolbar is awesome...

Give u some suggestions, mark them and consider them:

I dont know which city u are going to live?? The capital city of province?Like: NanKing, Peking, Canton? These are mega size cities in China. You will find out facilities and services which are quite similar to NZ..

However, the food, air quality, driving habits and custom are the issues u need to cope with..

good luck :)

You will easily find a "tall rich handsome" little 3 in China... Good luck! Have fun!!

liqi3205

原来老外也说  "go back to China"   ...

我的小小马甲

Would you mind telling me where are you from? And how long you have been together?

00001

Sure，they will accept a foreigner marrying into a Chinese family！

susie77

KIWI girl?

wsyyzyy

You love him then you should trust him, include his country and parents{:8_486:}

Malsicine 发表于 2012-5-4 13:31
Just really hard as been together for a number of years. Live together and every night after work, I ...

remember that people always get cultural shocks, you love the country from the beginning or you hate it and then after a while you change. be aware of this psychological process.

not sure where u'r heading, but there're lots of english speaking foreigners now in the bigger cities. u wouldn't be alone.

i guess if you've decided to go, then inform yourself, their tradition, food, culture, what it's all like. be prepared. good luck

直面异议

One thing i can assure you: no one will show middle finger to you and say:go back to your f..ing country

zheng_xiao

回覆基本上清一色是英文啊~~~~我路過看一下~~~~

BaconHam

桃之夭夭，灼灼其华。之子于归，宜其室家。
桃之夭夭，有蕡其实。之子于归，宜其家室。
桃之夭夭，其叶蓁蓁。之子于归，宜其家人。  

- Google translate it..