当家庭主妇就那么丢人么？

高飞

koddie 发表于 2012-5-11 16:35
问题不是别人怎样说她  问题是她自己其实不甘心  

就像要是你是90斤  别人再怎么笑你胖  你也不会当回 ...

你要是说90公斤，就基本对了

koddie

匿名者 发表于 2012-5-11 16:40
你说的是理工科的吧，我的学校不比这些差，我读的是文科，读研的时候是跨校保送的。也就是这样，爸妈和亲 ...

恩  我说得是理工科, 既然你自己觉得自己很优秀，还有什么可纠结得呢？为啥要上来求安慰？要是你已经尽力，自然会心安理得，何况这里得网友不会对你有实质性得帮助， 大家只是会恭维你一下，满足你得虚荣心。

你为什么觉得我说得优秀狭窄呢? 难道学以致用不是应当得吗？为什么有好工作就不能有好家庭了呢？这并不冲突啊。如果你你是有了很好得工作，后来自愿放弃了，我可以理解，但是没有尽力去找好工作，这点不能理解。 你觉得国内得文凭没有，为什么你不去奥大读个postgrad dip? 要是真的top 10 得能力，奥大得GPA 也要至少是8 吧， 那找工作就不成问题 ..

要是你真的有potential 却不愿去努力，真正可惜
不过路是自己走得，努力不努力都是自己得。老公随时可能换人，唯一换不了得是自己得resume。。

koddie

高飞 发表于 2012-5-11 16:48
你要是说90公斤，就基本对了

哈哈 我是说女滴   

画中人 发表于 2012-5-11 16:46
说白了你就是没有在这里独立生存的能力。不可耻，但也没人能高看你。仰人鼻息的生活，始终没有自己赚钱自己 ...

你说得对，我从来这里开始就不是一个人生活的。所以不知道自己一个人在这里会是什么样子。

wrywinifred

你可知道一个家庭主妇的价值么？据统计，雇一个家庭主妇需要花费USD$ 500/周。且不说还没有那么尽心尽力的照顾你。。你管别人来说什么。。他说不定还羡慕你呢？

angel33

楼主我们情况很相似唉。。自己开心就好了。。家庭主妇也不是每个人都适合当的。。自己能自娱自乐的人才行哇。。不过最近打算生小孩了，不知道楼主多大了啊。。

蛋清果仁

每个人的人生观和价值观是不同的，只要自己觉得没问题就好，只不过这社会是人组成的，难免会被人指指点点。不过有句话是怎么说的来着，走自己的路让别人打的去吧

koddie 发表于 2012-5-11 16:50
恩  我说得是理工科, 既然你自己觉得自己很优秀，还有什么可纠结得呢？为啥要上来求安慰？要是你已经尽力 ...

怎么说呢，我觉得不是我自己优不优秀的问题，是我觉得我现在这样挺好的，但是家人和朋友有时候说的话，会让我自己再次动摇，因为我自己也是经过很长一段时间，大概快一年吧，慢慢这么定下来这样的。是准备要读一个，但是现在不行，原因就不说了。我觉得你的想法和去年前年时候的我真像啊，我现在感觉一步步远离那个样子的我了。有时候，我会想，换一个活法，又是什么样子，会不会这么患得患失。一个踌躇满志的人永远不会理解别人的纠结。

angel33 发表于 2012-5-11 16:57
楼主我们情况很相似唉。。自己开心就好了。。家庭主妇也不是每个人都适合当的。。自己能自娱自乐的人才行哇 ...

奔三的人~~~

chang824

家庭煮婦

不錯ㄚ~~~~

prayer914

It is the culture difference. Chinese people always say if you are not financially independent, your husband will have mistress etc....It's really bullshit....People I heard who ends up with a divorce, most of them have decent jobs, some are doing even better than their husbands….If you think you need to have a job to be independent, to be able to have a say in your relationship….that probably means that you are not comfortable about yourself,  you are not confident about your image in your husband’s eyes and you have doubts about your relationship…...

It’s all come down to what is your husband’s view?  I am lucky to have a very supportive husband. I have worked full time, been housewife fulltime and studied full time. My husband respects my decision and as long as I am happy he is happy.  He agrees that full time housewife is the hardest job in the world and he shows his appreciation.

I also enjoyed being a housewife. I got to meet with other mums, helped with teachers in the classroom, organised play day or sports after school and involved in fund raising activities. I got to talk to more people from different background than the time I was working. So I don’t understand what does “社会脱节”mean. It depends on what kind of housewife you want to be.

Anyway, what I want to say is that it is your life, so live it in your way. However, you need to figure it out what do you really want first.

prayer914 发表于 2012-5-11 17:02
It is the culture difference. Chinese people always say if you are not financially independent, your ...

是的，我逛街的时候，和一些老外的sales聊天，他们都不觉得当一个家庭主妇有什么，但是中国的普遍观念要么家庭主妇无能，要么就是家庭主妇人生没有意义，我自己也不觉得和社会脱节了，但是被人说的，我怕是我自己脱节了不自知，或者总有那么一天，我要脱节了。

koddie

匿名者 发表于 2012-5-11 16:59
怎么说呢，我觉得不是我自己优不优秀的问题，是我觉得我现在这样挺好的，但是家人和朋友有时候说的话， ...

  恩  是得  我总是觉得有做不完得事  好像远方总是有个未来悄悄得向我招手    特别怕青春一下子就过去了  
恩  你可以self study吗  是怀孕了  所以不能去上学吗  这个就另当别论了  我还真的不知道怎么办 ... 你得英文则呢没样  也许你可以先提高下英文

prayer914

koddie 发表于 2012-5-11 16:20
LZ 你是说你以前优秀和以前有能力吧  能力是不断培养得  优秀更是一种习惯  难道你总是拿18岁那年得考试成 ...

.I agree that life is too short so live the way you enjoy. Maybe LZ's passion is just being a housewife and see her children growing up........hehe......people have passion in different things......people also define "优秀" in different ways....

assel

In my story, I am experiencing different roles in my life and I am feeling self-contented.
In one or at most two years, I will slow down a little bit to focus on my family. I know I will be enjoying the role of a mother and a wife, but first of all, I do not want to lose myself. Coz I remember what kind of a girl I was when I was young in China. That girl was just like the one you described. Luckily for me, that girl is always there.
Although everyday my husband and I need to do teamwork to keep the family organized, my kids still have healthy food to eat and have their precious time with us before they go to bed. We do not have extended family to help around but we still have a life to enjoy. We still have couple time enjoying a movie with fruits, snacks, drinks and icecream after kids are asleep, and walk our dogs in dog parks...To me, I do not have anything to regret.

koddie 发表于 2012-5-11 16:50
恩  我说得是理工科, 既然你自己觉得自己很优秀，还有什么可纠结得呢？为啥要上来求安慰？要是你已经尽力 ...

不知道我理解的对不对，你觉得一个优秀的人他就是能进得了好大学进得了好公司，有人人羡慕的工作和收入。其实我现在也可以有很多份兼职，兼职而不是全职和我的专业有很大的关系，我如果要在这里学以致用就是接各种兼职，那还是改变不了一个家庭主妇的本质。而且这些不是我爸妈想要的那种稳定的铁饭碗。

koddie

prayer914 发表于 2012-5-11 17:02
It is the culture difference. Chinese people always say if you are not financially independent, your ...

But it's not about her husband, not her marriage, it's about her, and her goals.

Husbands can come and go, feelings can change, the only thing that cannot change is you. one is  stuck with one's self for the rest of his/ her life. So really, she needs to be in peace with herself. Maybe being a housewife is the right thing for you. But not for her. She is not entirely satisfied nor happy by just being the "house wife" :)

koddie 发表于 2012-5-11 17:15
恩  是得  我总是觉得有做不完得事  好像远方总是有个未来悄悄得向我招手    特别怕青春一下子 ...

是啊，你看，我也不算太笨，能感觉的出来你是什么样的：）我也的确不是那么的满意，你懂的。我没有强大到没有父母的支持还可以坚定地走下去。

幽幽@

他们是吃不到葡萄就说葡萄酸，自己觉得幸福就好，想做什么就做什么，不用去管别人怎么说，如果一直都是在意别人的眼光而生活，那你就别活了..............

koddie

prayer914 发表于 2012-5-11 17:15
.I agree that life is too short so live the way you enjoy. Maybe LZ's passion is just being a hous ...

Maybe. but if she is truly happy and satisfied with being just a housewife, i dont think we would have been seeing her post on FML :P

Anyway, I very much agree with you that ppl should stop living in dogma, and your own happiness and satisfaction means more than what anyone else has to say in this world :)

koddie

匿名者 发表于 2012-5-11 17:21
不知道我理解的对不对，你觉得一个优秀的人他就是能进得了好大学进得了好公司，有人人羡慕的工作和收入 ...

恩  我说得意思不是这些  我是说  我觉得我得目标是好大学  好公司  可能以后我会有自己得startup .. 所以我会很尽力   同样得  你要是有自己得目标  你也需要尽力  这是对自己负责  人生短暂  没有犹豫得时间  青春一下子就过去了  而且说句很难听得话 the longer you are unemployed (as a fulltime employee), the harder it is to be employed.. 世界很残酷，不进则退，这个决定是你自己得，但是before you make up your mind, 多做分工作，给自己留条退路，不是件坏事 :)

NewLynnHse

LZ其实你自己开心就好。家庭主妇不是每个人能胜任的，有些人甚至因为没能当好家庭主妇而自卑，我有碰到过这样的人。

至于跟社会脱节，那是有可能，可是全职上班也要不断提升自己才不会脱节，如果每天干同样的东西，一样会脱节的。

其他人包括父母，很难了解的，其实你出国不就是为了要过不一样的生活么？为什么还要用他们的标准？

珍惜现在拥有的，过好自己的日子，可以看得出你是幸福的。

prayer914

koddie 发表于 2012-5-11 17:23
But it's not about her husband, not her marriage, it's about her, and her goals.

Husbands can c ...

I agree. It's all about what you want to be. If the husband supports you, that will be even better.

I just don't agree with other people's comment that women have to work to earn respect from their husbands etc....it is so sad to have a husband thinking that way.....

koddie 发表于 2012-5-11 17:32
恩  我说得意思不是这些  我是说  我觉得我得目标是好大学  好公司  可能以后我会有自己得startup .. 所以 ...

我知道，但即使我有很多份兼职，即使我兼职的收入比国内全职再多，都无法改变他们眼里家庭主妇的事实，这就是观念的问题。唉，很多时候是过不了自己这一关。有时候又觉得自己要的太多了。

紫鹤

别想这么多了吧，每个人都有自己的幸福，何必太在意别人的看法呢，经营好自己的婚姻生活最重要

koddie

prayer914 发表于 2012-5-11 17:35
I agree. It's all about what you want to be. If the husband supports you, that will be even better ...

Fully agreed!
A woman should never have to earn her respect! A good partner should be supportive no matter what!

prayer914 发表于 2012-5-11 17:35
I agree. It's all about what you want to be. If the husband supports you, that will be even better ...

我老公是很支持我，也很心疼我，不会因为我没有出去赚钱，就觉得自己是老大。这也是还甘心做个主妇的原因

koddie 发表于 2012-5-11 17:41
Fully agreed!
A woman should never have to earn her respect! A good partner should be supportive  ...

所以，最后的结论是我自己想太多了，在意的太多了。做饭去了

NewLynnHse 发表于 2012-5-11 17:33
LZ其实你自己开心就好。家庭主妇不是每个人能胜任的，有些人甚至因为没能当好家庭主妇而自卑，我有碰到过这 ...

谢谢{:8_496:}

koddie

匿名者 发表于 2012-5-11 17:37
我知道，但即使我有很多份兼职，即使我兼职的收入比国内全职再多，都无法改变他们眼里家庭主妇的事实， ...

恩  我也觉得主要不是钱得问题 be in peace with yourself 最重要

祝你好运 :)